To my #ProvingPossible ladies:
Oh, goals. What to say about them. They're often lofty, beautiful and clever, but when the execution isn't strategically planned down to the last detail, we run into trouble.
My goal with #ProvingPossible was to get more women into DH racing through funding, coaching and excellent support. Unfortunately, for a lot of you, it hasn't worked out that way. I dropped the ball.
That cannot be refuted. I didn't plan for the sheer volume of participants, the workload, mishaps, alternate expenses, or a change in scheduling... And it left a lot of you out in the cold.
I'm so sorry.
I was injured at the beginning of the season in late April and missed the NW cup/ProGRT stop coursewalk and clinic; however, the program experienced difficulties before that -- at Sea Otter, four entries were paid for, a clinic and course walk was put on, but not a single entry showed up for either one, and three of the four race entries were wasted when those members didn't race.
But a month later at the Sundance stop, despite my injury, some complications and a decent bit of rain, we put on the #ProvingPossinle clinic and it went extremely well -- 7 women came out to the course walk and the clinic. Nearly most of you raced, we all got to meet and chat and talk bikes. It was awesome. I was blown away at the excitement. However, again, I dropped the ball after Sundance about new contacts, upcoming races, fee reimbursement and responding to emails.
This would be indicative of my entire season. I'll be honest: the Sea Otter failure dampened my enthusiasm for the process I believed in. BUT. The response to the local race at Sundance renewed it quite a bit, despite being overwhelmed with my surgeries, the crazy expenses, a fraudulent issue with my PayPal (yay!) and the sheer volume of participants, as well as everything going on in my career at that point with leaving Pinkbike.
I'm not sure why it matters so much to me, but I know that I fucked up. I didn't plan this program well -- idealistic goal-setting never really goes as well as I'd like it to. I let a lot of ladies fall through the cracks at clinics, with race entries, with email or phone contact, and I hate that. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that I wasn't prepared for the size of the workload, the immensity of the clinic need, the scheduling conflicts or the level of contact that would be required with each of you. I'm sorry that I didn't provide the support you wanted and needed and deserved from me; I'm so sorry I blew the committment I made to so, so many of you. I'm realizing that big goals are wonderful and can change the world, but only if the projects are manageable enough to execute properly. The scope of this project was too big for me to handle alone, and it failed because of so many different reasons relating to that. I didn't have contingency plans for any 'if's, let alone 'when's.
However, I'm hell bent on not making this your burden anymore than it has been. Please give it one more shot and reach out to me if your emails have gotten no response or if you still haven't been paid (!) for your race entry. The goal is to get everyone taken care of by the end of this week and to close the program indefinitely until a better strategy can be fleshed out and put into practice. I'm sorry that I failed to toe the line, ladies, and I'm sorry that your DH racing experience began like this.
Please let me know if you have any questions, concerns or suggestions -- yes, sincerely.
All my best,