Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Wedding Season and the "No, I will not be attending RSVP"...

It's June, which means wedding season is upon us. We all started receiving invitations in March from eager brides vying for our attendance to their celebration of love. Some of us have been asked to be bridesmaids, cake makers, groomsmen, florists... These weddings are the culmination of a couple's love; the ultimate commitment and promise.

This year is different. This year, I won't be in attendance. Not going. Not to a single one, not even my little sister's wedding that's happening in September. Not just not attending the wedding, but not participating in wedding activities at all. Not out of disrespect to her or any of my friends, but out of respect for equal rights. I love my little sister more than almost anything... She lights up my life. I love that she's in love and I wish her all the best -- always. But I'm not going to support a wedding until everyone can marry.

You see, we have a problem in the US right now that, up until today, I've been fairly 'meh' about: gay couples cannot be married and enjoy the same rights as straight couples because of their sexual preference. They're second class citizens, excluded from the privilege of marrying that one person whom they love more than anything, because the rest of us have turned a blind eye to this issue. Yeah, I've been to many a gay pride weekend; congratulations. I march in protestation of the treatment of gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transexuals; excellent. But how far am I really taking my support? How deep is my commitment to equality? I'll tell you: deep as fuck. Until every. single. person. in this country is given the right to marry and gain the same recognition as a straight couple under both religion and the law, I will not support marriage. I will not go to weddings. I will not make cakes or cupcakes. I will not attend celebrations that turn a blind eye to the civil rights atrocities happening on a daily basis. I don't mean it out of disrespect for my little sister or my many friends who have chosen to wed... I mean this out of respect to all people, everywhere, no matter their sexual orientation, age, color, national origin or religion. This may not go beyond my singular effort and this blog may sit exactly where it resides right now, on my website, in virtual exile, but I will not falter. This is what I believe in. Even if I stand alone, I will stand. Because I can stand. Because I believe in equal rights. Because I want to inspire a movement towards equality for all. I believe that a multi-billion dollar industry such as the wedding industry would stand up and take notice if weddings were to simply stop. If people started standing up for their brothers and sisters and refusing to pay vendors and businesses who continue to support the way things are. If we insist on change, we will get it... For all. Change for all. For unity. For equality. To stop oppression and hatred. To cease the separation of souls because of sexuality. This is not only every single person's choice to make, but our responsibility.

I encourage those around me to take a stand. I wish I could somehow inspire everyone to care. I wish that because of my absence this summer, people would take notice and ask questions. However, I know this isn't possible. The world doesn't revolve around me or my decisions. But my decision is an act of hope, of change, of defiance and of loyalty. I have to be the change in the world I wish to see. I believe in equal rights enough to stake my familial relationships, my friendships and even my future employment on that belief. I believe in love... FOR ALL.

I'm sorry, Becca. I love you. 

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